Today I am sad. I have many reasons to be happy, the biggest of which is sleeping on my lap right now, but today is a melancholy day.
Two years ago around this exact time I was headed to the ER. Two years ago I lost my third little angel and almost my own life. Two years ago I lost hopes and dreams and a little piece of my soul.
A lot of joy has come into my life during the past two years. I can't downplay all the happiness that remains. But...I will never be the same as I was before that day two years ago. I'm not sure if I would want to be.
I am so blessed to have Juniper but I long for my angels. I can't help but wonder about them. Would they have my eyes, daddy's smile, their little sister's giggle? When Juniper hits a milestone I imagine them going thru one of their own. I love them so much even though I never got to hold them in my arms. I do get to hold them in my heart. I always will.
Today I shed a few tears in this quiet moment for them. Mamma loves you and misses you...
